A strong family, where there is support, sharing, honesty and care, enables us to develop into fulfilled, productive and positive person. As we are social beings it is our basic requirement and without it we feel lost and not balanced. Our mental happiness and health depends upon affection, understanding, love, support and so forth.
Happiness in the family starts with us. We need to appreciate each other, make our families strong and our homes filled with kindness, affection and understanding.
Therefore, family is the main and most important foundation of the individual and society. If we create a happy family, then that positive vibration, peace and harmony will spread and radiate throughout our street, city, nation and finally in the world.
What is family?
Meaning of the word “family” has a many definitions. But no matter what meaning or definition is there, we consider a family, people who are very important and close to us, those who will support us and be there for us no matter what, regardless they are blood related or not. As the saying goes, “Family is what you make it.”
IMPORTANCE OF PARENTS
It is easy to take our parents for granted and to forget all the sacrifices and efforts they made for us so that we can grow up in better conditions and with better chances. Mother is our first teacher and guider. In her womb she shared her blood, sweat, tears and DNA… she made a sacrifice to give a life to us. That special bound that we have with our mother we could never understand or comprehend. There is nothing to compare with mothers love. Therefore we need to respect and appreciate our parents.
Also, as a parent, we must be aware of the great role that has been given to us. We are too much focusing on a questions like how to educate our children, that we have forgotten to think of leading a right and proper life ourselves and that is the most important thing for our child’s development.
If we don’t have a strong foundation in our own divine identity, we form distorted beliefs about relationships, family and the world around us. Child adjusts to what the adults in its environment do and feel. Therefore we must give them an example and be a role model for them. For example, if we are during family time on the phone all the time, and we want to teach our children that family time is important, we are giving a wrong impression and message. They will just follow our example, so we need to live the values that we want our children to follow.
Yes, there will be problems in every family. No matter how empathetic, patient and full of understanding we are, children will still be arguing or misbehaving. Understanding our nature and our Self will give us and our children a strength to deal with any kind of difficulties. We need to develop a mutual understanding, trust and love within our home and pray for harmony and peace so that during a difficult time we can solve our problems and rely on each other.
Family and society
Happy and harmonious family is the most important pillar of the society. If foundation of family is strong, then society will be like that also. There are many factors that has a negative effect on harmony of the family, but with an understanding and prayer we can create peace and love within our home.
One of the main causes of alienation within the family is today’s way of life. The demands imposed by today’s society and people, creates constant conflicts and misunderstanding. Materialism and consumerism that is present in the society, values more things than people and relations. This leads to a lack of understanding, kindness and patience, constant argues and emotional distance. We are nourishing wrong values, pushing individual aspirations over interpersonal relationship and therefore alienating from each other.
Therefore, we need to start with ourselves, try to spend some more time with our family, try to understand and appreciate them, be present, pray for peace and harmony, and become positive and kind towards them so that love, affection and compassion prevail in our home and spread throughout our society.
How to cultivate harmonious and happy family?
According to Shri Shivakumar Swamiji Nasimath, there are three principles that we should follow to strengthen up ourselves and bounds within our family members, in order to create a strong foundation in the family and society. Those principles are – adopt, adjust and accommodate, and we can apply them in every aspect of life.
We need to accept and embrace each other as we are. Each of us is different, but in this diversity lies beauty and growth. Any kind of development starts with adopting and embracing someone or something, starting with our personal understanding and behavior, to our family and society. So, we need to adopt, understand and accept each other and our faults and qualities. Through that we can learn and develop in all levels of existence.
Adjust, because every change actually starts with us. Constant grumbling and expressing dissatisfaction and unhappiness with certain persons or situations will not change it. So, let’s learn how to accept what’s coming, try to change ourselves and develop patience, peace and acceptance so that we can create circumstances to achieve our goals. We need to become aware of other people’s feelings, accept their mistakes and forgive them. Any kind of argue or dispute is not necessary. Past is gone, you can’t change it. So, why to fight or argue over that? Try to communicate and talk things trough, because any co-living is about compromise and communication, whether it is about family or friends.
Whatever we have learned or achieved, makes us what we are now. Certain knowledge and situations are necessary to develop strength, stability and courage. Let’s not be afraid of progress. Let’s move on and apply what we know. Be humble and don’t ever stop learning. In that way we will constantly grow and develop.
Spend time together and pray
To develop harmony in our home, we should spend some time together, at least once a week play, communicate and pray for harmony and peace in our home. It is important to share, appreciate and respect each other. There is a saying: “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” In most cases it is like that. We are taking for granted what we have, assuming that it will always be there. But the truth is that everything in life is temporarily, whoever is born will die, and whatever is created sooner or later will be destroyed. Therefore understand, appreciate and respect people that you are surrounded with.